IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT AND THERE WAS A KNOCK AT MY DOOR SO I CAUTIOUSLY OPENED THE DOOR THEN TWO DRUNKEN GUYS SHOUTED “SURPRISE” THEN LOOKED AT ME FOR A MOMENT AND WENT “FUCK WE’RE AT THE WRONG HOUSE” AND RAN AWAY DOWN THE STREET OH MY GOD
(Source: fabulewis)
my parents: that's how you make friends!!!
me: no
despite the fact that water tastes like nothing, it’s actually really good
like
how does it manage to do that
be tasty with no taste
Your name is OFF(GAME) FANDOM. And you SWEAR to GOD that are going to SMASH someone’s BRAINS. This is the FIFTH TIME a group of SPECTERS attacks you. It’s like fucking POKEMON here.
(Source: judgemask-zacharie)
if ironman and the silver surfer teamed up
they would be alloys
always reblog science jokes
do you ever just wanna kiss your boyfriend but realize you don’t have one
(Source: phauux)
